i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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