i'm lost and i look like a hooker
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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