I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
