dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I looked at my own cervix.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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