Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
