i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
