I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
