honey bunches of taint.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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