At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
