as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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