Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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