I'm eating all of the evidence.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
