take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wish there were birth control emojis
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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