cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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