So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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