Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
