This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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