thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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