If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
