Soap is not a condiment
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just threw up on my dentist
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
