**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
