I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
