we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
