So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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