4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
