i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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