I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
