At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
