I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
