i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
