I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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