this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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