Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize