I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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