butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
