Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
