I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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