I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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