And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
