Having a random hookup so left but love u
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
