she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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