btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
