They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My pussy is not your playground.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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