It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I am mentally ready for anal.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
