her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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