What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
