Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
