we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
