there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
