I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Everything about him screamed your future.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
