whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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