Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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