What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
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mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
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Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize