this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
