I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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