there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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