I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
